Feeling Disconnected

The Internet was down all weekend and I noticed it.

Saturday morning, I turned on the computer to do some banking and to check out Amazon.ca. And I couldn’t get onto the Internet. ‘Not connected’, the computer told me despite the server being at the best level I have ever seen it yet.

I restarted the computer. I double checked to make sure the Internet was working. I made sure the router was working. I reinstalled the router. I pulled this cable and yanked on that cord. I performed the Windows diagnostic on the computer. I followed its directions. I called my Dad. Finally, I begged my husband to hardwire the Internet into my computer.

By Sunday this was done.

In the meantime, I had to go to the mall and hope for the best in shopping bargains and do my banking in my head.

For someone who has trouble with simple math and who requires a visual reminder of how broke she is, it was a challenge.

I haven’t yet checked if we still have a house and whether I blew the gas money for the week.

I do know that while the Internet was down, I was able to do the laundry and clean the bathroom. Not that the extra time gained makes me want to be unplugged for any length of time again.

Cellphone Laments

Everyone laughs at me.

For years, I have enjoyed short spurts of work - a text saying “Pls pick up milk” or “I will be home soon” or phone calls discussing the day’s happenings.

About two weeks ago, my world changed.

I started working harder than I have my entire existence. Not only was I making more calls (while listening to loud music and teenaged laughter), but the texting became fast and furious, with one after the other coming both into and out of me.

I was then pulled out at a rugby game and the real laughter started.

“Is that your cellphone?” a boy asked.
“No,” was the short reply. “It’s my stepmom’s. Pathetic isn’t it?”

Then the group of people started to laugh at me and make comments about a donation to a museum.

I may not flip open or have a slide-out keyboard. I may not be able to surf the Internet or take pictures or play music, but I am able to have conversations and send text messages such as “I love you” and “I miss you” just as well as those fancy new phones.

So there.