Action Dreams

I am so tired.

My doctor, who is also my son’s doctor, recently said in order to get proper sleep, I was going to have to wean my son through the night.

My little guy now goes to sleep at about 7:30 p.m. and sleeps until around 5:30 a.m.

So I should be getting around nine hours of sleep myself.

But then I remembered – I have never had uninterrupted sleep.

I get up every couple of hours to pee even if I don’t after dinner. And then there are my action dreams.

Now that I am likely getting into a deep sleep, my action dreams, or sleepwalking, have return with a vengeance and I find myself wandering around the bedroom or down the hall.

I jump out of the bed in terror because in my dreams my son is choking or I have somehow lost him.

I wake up reaching for things, pushing away things or hiding from things. I have the same dream each night, waking up in the midst of saving my husband (or just shaking him awake) or scaling the wall because I have seen something.

I am so tired, not because my son is up every two hours to nurse, but because I am up non-stop, even when I am sleeping

Let The Baby Drive

I stole today’s blog title from a book with the same name. It was one of many books I devoured before our son was born. The premise is easy to figure out.
It’s a fitting slogan at my house these days.

As regular blog readers know, my son, who turns 15 months on Jan. 21, was, up until Dec. 31, nursing every two hours throughout the night.

Until recently he was nursing from anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes up to a hour. I wasn’t worried nor overly concerned; I am starving each time I wake up during the night and if I allowed myself could eat a full meal each time I get up to nurse or pee.

I figured my guy was hungry. Like mother, like son.

However, my goal has always been to wean my little guy during my vacation between Christmas and New Year’s. My friends, who had already weaned their children, suggested a strong resolve and the ability to listen to my little one scream for two hours straight.

I had actually tried weaning my son earlier in his life, but I didn’t have that resolve and after listening to him scream for 10 minutes or so, I gave up, nursing him to sleep.

Since going back to work in November, my little guy was spending more time in our bed then in his. By brining him into bed with me, my son could nurse on demand while allowing me to get some needed sleep. I enjoyed it. So did he. My husband wasn’t a fan of that situation.

So on Dec. 31, when our son cried, I went into his room, picked him up, hugged him and told him I wasn’t nursing him at night any more. I put him down, gave him a drink of water from his sippy cup and rubbed his stomach. He cried for a few minutes, flipped over and fell asleep.

For the next week, he would get up every two hours for a bit of comfort, a drink of water and a rub. When he wouldn’t settle, I would leave him to his own devices, which often included him playing with his music box and chatting (Dad, Dad, Mum, Mum - getting louder and louder) for a hour or so. I also discovered during this time that it was best to just let him cry for a few minutes rather than trying to comfort him.

Then, three nights ago, it happened. He slept for six hours straight. The next night, six and a half hours. Last night, seven hours in a row.

So this is my advice for first-time mothers: Listen to your instincts. Don’t worry about your family members, friends or even doctor’s suggestions. Instead, listen to your heart and your head.

After my son was sick, he and I spent the next several months sleeping together on the couch. One day I knew he was ready to sleep in his bed and he did. Then I knew he was ready to have his daytime naps in his bed and he made the transition from my arms to his bed quite easily. And now he is sleeping in his bed at night without me having to endure a screaming/sobbing baby.

So, moms, Let the Baby Drive.

Extended Maternity Leave

Our maternity leave should be longer.

While I appreciate I won’t get any sympathy from the likes of my mom, who had to quit her job when she was pregnant with my older brother; those from Holland who get only six weeks of maternity leave; or those from the States who get an equally short time to spend with their newborns, I still think Canadians should get a longer maternity leave.

Particularly now that doctors, healthcare workers and moms have returned to the idea that “breast is best.”

“They” say that you should breastfeed your baby until he is one year old. Wonderful. I agree.

However, if you are as unfortunate as I and you have to return to work, how can you feed on demand until your child is one when you have to go back when your child is one?

Should you quit breastfeeding cold turkey? Pump at work? Or, as I am attempting to do, wean prior to the first birthday?

My best friend JM, who has been doing daycare for years and who has two children of her own, said I don’t have to worry about weaning my son from his daily feeds prior to going back to work. She told me babies, or toddlers as he will be in a couple short weeks, are clever creatures.

He is not going to look to daycare provider, LC, for breast milk. And he won’t miss it because I am not there tempting him with it. She said I should be more concerned about weaning him at night, not for his sake but for my own.

While that did put my mind at ease, I still want to help my son learn to fall asleep on his own, without nursing. I want to make his transition to daycare as easy and stress-free as possible - for him anyway.

So if my maternity leave was say ... two years or even a year and a half, I could nurse until he was one and have him weaned before having to head back to work.

Right Leaning

I lean to the right.

For whatever reason, my son refuses to nurse on the left side. He has been this way since he was a baby.

When trying to get him to nurse on the left side, he either throws his head back and refuses to latch or will drink for a couple of minutes before returning to the right side.

As such, my right breast, in comparison, is giant, while my left side is basically non-existent.

So if you see me leaning toward the right, you’ll know why.

Chair vs Bed

A bed is not a necessary piece of furniture. At least to those who are nursing.

As soon as my son cries, I am up and in his room, often before I am really awake. I scoop him up, I sit in the Ikea chair and before I know it he is asleep. And it turns out, so was I.

I often go back to my bed and notice a hour has gone by. I, too, must fall asleep in the chair and only awake when my son pulls off the breast or I fall so deeply asleep we both shift.

Unfortunately, as he is nursing every two hours or so, it also means I tend to only get about a hour sleep in my bed until we start the cycle again.